Tourmaline: My mentorship philosophy is about supporting what’s already there. Xoài produces culture that’s distinct and profound through her advocacy work with the Transgender Law Center and her projects in fashion, art and television. Her desire to create across arenas reminds me of my own.
My work is about time travel. I’m trying to tune in to the dreams of freedom of those who came before and feel how they’re still shaping this moment, and also into future versions of myself ushering in what’s possible. Because of that, I think of legacy in a nonlinear way, like time folding in on itself.
A lot of people have had their hands in molding my life. Both of my parents were community organizers who met in the 1967 Detroit riot. I was mothered, in many ways, by my friend Miss Major, a Black trans woman who lives in Little Rock, Ark., and was at the Stonewall riots.
There’s this idea that it’s the older person who mentors the younger person, but I’m being mentored all the time by friends who are younger. Xoài’s unapologetic writing about sex, nightlife and friendship inspires me to turn down the voice in my head that tells me what I can or cannot embody or portray. I’m most connected to my power when I feel the lightest, plugged into all of who I am.
Xoài Phạm: As a trans woman of color born to Vietnamese refugees in Orange County, Calif., I didn’t have many elders or mentors. Growing up, I never thought I could work in the film industry as a writer or an actor. I wasn’t encouraged to dream. Through my work and the discovery of myself, I’ve given myself permission to do so.
Tourmaline and I had known each other for a while, but it wasn’t until I received the Queer|Art mentorship last year that I got to work with her closely: I was writing a screenplay that was pulling from a lineage of stories about female friendship. There are countless examples centering on four women: “The Golden Girls,” “Sex and the City,” “Waiting to Exhale.” I was coming from that perspective but highlighting the sisterhood that’s so sacred to trans women, which has rarely been seen on television — what it means to be in this messy, unhinged relationship with others who are dealing with emotional baggage and hormonal changes. Trans women hold each other accountable and lift each other up.
But what I’ve really taken from Tourmaline is the knowledge that life is bigger than work. We gossip. She asks about my love life. We owe it to ourselves to enjoy our lives and seek pleasure. That’s always going to be more important than anything we create, because our lives are our own creations, as well.
Interviews have been edited and condensed.
