Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
King of the Road
On Wednesday, President Donald Trump pre-emptively announced on social media that New York City’s congestion pricing “IS DEAD, Manhattan and all of New York is SAVED. LONG LIVE THE KING!”
Referring to himself as a king “is the thing presidents are not supposed to do,” Stephen Colbert said on Thursday.
“Yes, the classic domain of an all-powerful king. Yes, it’s what all kings do: regulate local toll roads. [imitating a king] ‘Behold! Camelot has been saved, for I have pulled Excalibur from the median strip of the Cross Bronx Expressway.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“But you know he’s trolling us, and we shouldn’t take the bait. But with this guy, every troll is a trial balloon. So, here we go. Mr. Trump, America will never bow before any king not named ‘Burger,’ for he hath made us all part of the royal family.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
Colbert remarked that even though Trump has been “busy cosplaying as the czar of the Lincoln Tunnel,” congestion pricing has significantly reduced traffic and increased support for Broadway shows and local businesses.
“Now, obviously, this seems like a good thing, so Donald Trump ruined it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Governor Hochul immediately said congestion pricing wouldn’t end, posting, ‘The cameras are staying on.’ Governor, I love your defiance, but you know Trump loves cameras. This just means he’s going to do his next press conference strapped to the hood of a Camry.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (DOGE Dollars Edition)
“DOGE-head Elon Musk says he’s considering giving 78 million Americans $5,000 per household. Half of these households will be benefiting from a DOGE dividend; the other are just his child support.” — GREG GUTFELD
“I mean, the Dems are already floundering against DOGE, but DOGE plus a dividend? It’ll be more popular than that mall tour I did with Menudo.” — GREG GUTFELD
“Perhaps it’s not exactly right. ‘Right’ would be all the cuts go to preventing a full default on the debt; otherwise, we’ll face an economic crisis that would make the Depression look like a trip to Sandals with Trace Gallagher.” — GREG GUTFELD
The Bits Worth Watching
Taylor Tomlinson explored the social media trend of mostly shirtless men doing meal prep on Thursday’s “After Midnight.”
